Superhero Movies that Shouldn’t Be Made

Crack magazine puts together a list of upcoming movies that may be a bad idea in their article, “5 Upcoming Comic Book Movies That Must Be Stopped.” Hilarious and very true with descriptions of one superhero:

Much like most bisexual East Berlin rave DJs, The Mighty Thor is named after an adjective and a powerful Norse god. The commonalities do not end there, however. Much like, say, “DJ Baldur the Funky Ramrod,” The Mighty Thor also possesses radiant, flowing, shoulder-length blond locks, wears giant yellow go-go boots and a bright red cape…

And reasons for the movie to fail:

Alright, while Superman embodied “Truth, Justice and the American Way,” Cage was famous for often shouting the catchphrase “Sweet Christmas!” Though we will readily admit he was a serious hard-ass (the man patrolled Harlem dressed like your grandma on vacation) we would like for you to notice his “metal headband,” which upon close inspection is actually a little girl’s costume Tiara worn upside down.

This is a fun look at what the movie studios are up to.

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