My Bloody Valentine
Rated R; Directed by Patrick Lussier; Starring Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Betsy Rue
What a cute idea. Have a slasher flick with a Valentine’s theme. Based on a 1981 Canadian film, the remake of My Bloody Valentine offers lots of slasher mayhem and gore wrapped up in valentine candy boxes. Doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and cuddly? Grab your partner and feel the love.
Made as a 3-D film, we don’t get that version of My Bloody Valentine here in Flagstaff, but there are still plenty of bloody body parts that fly towards you. As in many of these films you also have the jump-out-at-you scares that always happen at night – and, in a different kind of setting, bad things happen in a claustrophobic coal mine. The story is the usual mad killer, who was assumed dead ten years earlier after killing lots of folks, on the loose again. He’s doing what he does best, killing citizens of all ages. It’s amazing how many creative ways a supposedly dead maniacal miner can use a pickaxe.
I found the movie disgusting, disturbing, and definitely not my tea. Yet, as these kinds of films go, it’s probably not all that bad. Though the script has the characters do plenty of stupid things (Call 911, stupid! Call for backup, stupid!), the characters can at least create sympathy. One of the early scenes is a highlight as Betsy Rue makes her very naked character the funniest part of the film…until that mad killer shows up.
If your sweetie-pie doesn’t mind the gore, take her to My Bloody Valentine. But be aware, if your honeybuns has more refined tastes, you may want to opt for a box of chocolates and flowers.